How to afford your freedom [Real Talk]

Every time you buy something (a dress, a car, furniture, wine etc) consider if that is going to bring you closer or further away from from your goals in life).

Spend your money on things that make you grow and learn.

Do you want to look smart or be smart?

About 20 years ago, I seriously thought about what I wanted to achieve in my life. Old friends say that I have always known what I wanted and that I have been taking the high road toward my dream. However, that was not exactly my experience, but apparently, my attitude has always been like that. In the beginning, my goal was to earn money and get everything that I did not have as a child. I was also very focused on earning money and becoming financially independent. 

Towards the end of the 1990’s, I made a so-called “f**k you account” (I am sorry about the name; I was very young back then.) I created this account because my bank refused to give me a loan, so I could start my first business. I was a young, dark-skinned immigrant in white male dominated Denmark). When they said no, I decided to show the banks – that I did not need them

In that bank-account, I kept my money (from cleaning in the nights) not for partying or buying clothes but for ensuring my independence and freedom—hence the name. 

  1. While my friends bought lipsticks, I bought books. 
  2. While they were partying, I was working. 
  3. While they were hungover, I studied on weekends. 

My friends have fantastic lives today, but at the same time, they are frustrated and feel left out in a society dominated by men. But nobody is leaving them out. 

Later on they bought boobs and expensive bags. I still bought books. Do not buy boobs – buy books!

Learn About Money 

In today’s world having no money is no longer an excuse for being stupid. There is so much free content or cheap content out there from leading universities, professors and thought leaders etc. You might not graduate – but you will still be smarter than yesterday. Invest in YOU. 

I was in Stockholm and gave a talk about careers to some incredible female mid-level managers in an international investment business. I looked around the room and opened my lecture by saying, “Look at all of you. I think that I will start with the word ‘investment.’ You want to reach the next level, but what is your investment account? How much money have you put aside for this?”

They did not answer. “None, because you are probably counting on your boss to come up with an education plan, right? When I look around the room and compute how much all your bags cost, I realize there is more money for education here than the whole company has.”

Then they laughed. But I simply do not get how they could use money on something as stupid as bags when they are currently not where they want to be in their lives. In my opinion, that is completely incomprehensible.

My advice to you is to handle your money very carefully. You have to find the balance between enjoying life, using your money and contributing to keep your head in the game, while securing yourself and your future.

A friend once told me that you only become rich the moment you are able to live the way you are living right now for a whole year without earning a penny.

I have experienced shame and anxiety brought about by not having enough money. In a way, my parents have given me a present by helping me realize that money is useful if you work hard, but they have also made me aware that money can disappear very easily.

Today I have a positive sense about money because I do not have to be a ‘prostitute’ in my work life. By ‘prostitute’ I mean, that my biggest fear is working for a boss whom I do not like. Or on an assignment that I hate, with a few colleagues who do not ring my bell. So to me, money means personal freedom.

Written by Soulaima Gourani

Soulaima Gourani co-own the fintech bank GetCapitalAid. ”I deeply care about our (broken) financial system, and think it is awful we do not teach financials at schools”. She's also a lecturer, corporate counselor and author. Check out her blog for more real talk and other financial advice.

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