Jun Amparo
There is no such thing as perfect marriage. My wife and I have been married for almost a decade now and we have had some minor arguments.
For instance, she confronted me when I did not put my used clothes in the laundry basket, or when I failed to turn-off the air-conditioner, or when I forgot to take-off my socks while lying down on the bed because I am tired after-work. I believe these are all normal.
Needless to say, financial management in the home is one of the pressing concerns amongst married couples. Interestingly, God creates husband and wife with certain personality strengths that impact the way they handle money. Either you or your spouse is a spender or saver.
Mishandling money can cause marital conflict
Sad to say, mishandling money is one of the major reasons why husbands and wives fight, perhaps because of not having enough money or different priorities in spending. While you made a vow to remain faithful and promised to be together for poorer or richer, the way you manage money can cause marital conflict and eventually ruin your marriage.
In fact, argument about money is the top predictor of divorce in America. Dr. Sonya Britt, director of personal financial planning at Kansas State University, used data from more than 4,500 couples to assess exactly which issues cause a marriage to fail. “Arguments about money is by far the top predictor of divorce,” said Dr. Britt. “It’s not children, sex, in-laws, or anything else. It’s money–for both men and women.”
Financial distress can be overwhelming; therefore, it is important to start talking finances at home.
Avoid excessive debts
I believe it is important for married couples to be both on board about financial management. When one tend to spend impulsively, without thought of the future, it may result to excessive debt sooner or later. Let me quote what Ellen White says about shunning debt because of its effect.
“Many have not educated themselves that they can keep their expenditures within the limit of their income. They do not learn to adapt themselves to circumstances. They borrow and borrow again and again and become overwhelmed in debt, and consequently they become discouraged and disheartened.” — Growing a Happy Home, 167
If in excessive debt, pray and talk at each other to finds ways how to get out of debt. To avoid marital discord, remind your spouse about your financial goals and keep your expenditures within the limit of your income so you will not become disheartened and discouraged.
Be honest with your spouse
Being honest about your spending such as utility bills, tuition fees of your children, credit card bills, loans or debts, and other related expenses gives your partner a better picture of your financial condition. I commend my wife for being transparent every time she sends money to her family and relatives in the Philippines. Many marriages have gone sour because of lack of transparency about money.
If you are receiving regular remittance from your spouse who is an OFW in Singapore, make it sure that you keep record of spending. You will avoid unpleasant consequences such as blaming, nagging, and hurtful words when you are honest with your spouse.
Seek help
If arguments about money have started ruining your marriage and you’re coming close to pulling the plug, do not forget to seek professional help. He or she may be a close friend of yours who could offer a sound financial advice.
Moreover, another great option to overcome financial turmoil for married couple is to seek help from a registered financial planner or to have a counseling session with a church pastor about biblical stewardship and money management.
Simplicity is the key
Simplicity is the key to financial stability. Do not envy if your neighbor has a brand new car or one of your church members has a new gadget or your kumare bought a new Ultra Slim Samsung TV. Happiness means to live simply which protects you from covetousness.
Accountability in spending money is crucial to avoid money mistakes in marriage. Matured Christians couples understand the importance of managing their God-given treasure in a manner that honors God and helps meet the needs of family and others.
Remember, financial distress in marriage is a learning experience and an opportunity to make wise decisions in the future as you put your trust in God.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. –Matthew 6:33, NIV
